"Real communication occurs and this evaluative tendency is avoided, when we listen with understanding" - pg 331 - Empathy
"It means to see the expressed ideas from the other persons point of view, to sense how it feels to him, to achieve his frame of reference in regard to the thing he is talking about" - pg 332
The Existential Choice
"Do I dare to communicate myself as I am or must my communication be somewhat less than or different from this?" pg 345
"The sharpness of this issue lies in the often vividly forseen possibility of threat or rejection. To communicate ones full awareness of the relevant experience is a risk to interpersonal relationships." pg 345
In his book "On Becoming A Person" Carl Rogers argues that real communication can only be achieve when we listen from an empathetic viewpoint, that we cannot truly communicate until we begin to 'see the expressed ideas from the other persons point of view, to sense how it feels to him, to achieve his frame of reference in regard to the thing he is talking about' (Rogers, 2004, pg 332).
Continue this excert with reference to evidence of social networking making us less empathic and thus less likely to be communicating effectivley and efficiently
Correlating to previous discussion on the 'real' self, Rogers also brings about the idea of the 'existential choice', the choice we all have to communicate ourselves as we are or to filter what we allow others to see of ourselves. The very real fear of threat and rejection that encourages us to communicate from behind screens is a result of not wanting to show our 'real selves' in case the 'real self' is met with an unempathetic, judging point of view as a pose to an understanding, empathic listener.
Links with real/true self exploration, pyschological asymmetry
Friday, 10 November 2017
Saturday, 4 November 2017
Questionnaire - Anonymous Confessions
A lot of my research into my chosen area has looked at the idea of anonymity, different versions of self and self-disclosure. I think it could be quite interesting to try take my practical work in this direction. People are more likely to disclose personal infomation online about themselves as they have a different kind of identity to hide behind, this leaves them feeling less at risk of rejection/embarassment when they disclose highly personal infomation about themselves. I ahve devised a simple questionnaire to explore this topic. The two questions will be as follows:
1. Confess something anonymously
2. Would you have made the same confession if the questionnaire wasn't anonymous. Explain your answer.
I will be posting the link to the questionnaire to a variety of social netowrking sites as this is what my dissertation is focused around. I will collate the results once I feel I have enough responses and begin to make work in result of that. At the moment I feel that some kind of publication format would work best, possibly a zine. This will be decided later on once the results have been collected.
1. Confess something anonymously
2. Would you have made the same confession if the questionnaire wasn't anonymous. Explain your answer.
I will be posting the link to the questionnaire to a variety of social netowrking sites as this is what my dissertation is focused around. I will collate the results once I feel I have enough responses and begin to make work in result of that. At the moment I feel that some kind of publication format would work best, possibly a zine. This will be decided later on once the results have been collected.
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
Further Revised Research Question
I previously wrote a list of potential questions to explore and investigate for my research project, most were broad and quite vague but I've narrowed my list down to a selection of 4 questions. I think my question is still a while away from being finalised in terms of wording and figuring out how exactly I'm going to phrase things but the four options I've narrowed it down to all have the same underlying theme, they are as follows:
- Why are we comfortable expressing human emotion online but struggle with face-to-face interactions?
- To what extent does social media impact the way we interact with each other?
- What effect does social media have on day-to-day social skills/social interactions
- How does social media impact how we develop interpersonal relationships?
I know these are still vague and not well structured but I feel like they're all similar in a way and with further research I'll be able to further narrow down my options and begin expanding and forming my final proposed research question.
- Why are we comfortable expressing human emotion online but struggle with face-to-face interactions?
- To what extent does social media impact the way we interact with each other?
- What effect does social media have on day-to-day social skills/social interactions
- How does social media impact how we develop interpersonal relationships?
I know these are still vague and not well structured but I feel like they're all similar in a way and with further research I'll be able to further narrow down my options and begin expanding and forming my final proposed research question.
Monday, 30 October 2017
The School of Life - How To Live More Wisely Around Our Phones
How To Live More Wisely Around Our Phones - http://www.thebookoflife.org/how-to-live-more-wisely-around-our-phones/
- there's almost no relationship in which the presence of the phone has not had a profound effect
- addiction
- monasticism - distraction - wall-off instantly alluring and most meaningless distractions offered by the wider world
- digital sabbath - engage directly with others, be relaxed, immersed in nature and present
- look things up inside yourself - give ideas time and attention - 'In the minds of geniuses we discover our own neglected thoughts' Ralph Waldo Emerson
- our phones and our relationships - malleability provides the perfect excuse for disengagement from the trickier aspects of other people
- dating - everyone is radically imperfect, compatibility is an achievement of love, it can't be its precondition - cannot help with the real challenge of love - extending sympathy and understanding to human frailty
- nature and the sublime - we are forgetting (as we update) what nature - quietly and with great and tender majesty - might really have been trying to say to us
- stimulation vs calm - our most urgent need is for calm - we react to stimuli even when we're exhausted - phones are endless carriers of claims to rouse us when what we really need is exactly the opposite
- shopping - purchasing ambitions are focused only at the lower level of our own pyramid of needs (reference image within article)
- beyond instagram - we need to make ourselves pay attention - our ease of which we can create an image works against our desire to properly notice anything - put down the phone and sketch
- appreciation - phones deliver the world directly to us yet often limit the things we actually pay attention to
- poetry - brevity to vacuity, serious ideas must be transmitted in long and challenging texts - this is an educated delusion - you can conjure the deepest, sweetest and saddest truths in a few words - brief media to say big important thing
- news - modern idea of news is falsely and unflattering - it imagines we need to know everything thats happened in the world - really important news is just everything that is crucial for us to take in order to understand our own world and our place in it
- FOMO - its not the notion of missing out thats the problem, its ideas of what we might be missing out on - phones unhelpfully skew this
- the dream of being liked - we might know plenty of people but others never quite know us as we wish to be known - loneliness is simply a price we have to pay for holding onto a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must and could be
- travel - while our phones can record and reveal to others the half-formed thoughts circulating our mind they cannot as yet bring our submerged reactions to the surface
- play - the unexpected intensity of fooling around with a normally staid and measured acquaintance - as we play, we forget to cheque our phones
- selfies - tempting to think we should take them less seriously - distance ourselves from it and see it in a mocking light - but the wiser move might be to get much more ambitious - self-reflection - not seeking the approval of others but seeking self-knowledge
- communication - technology annihilates physical but not psychological, distance - our words move infinitely faster than a carrier pigeon or a scroll bearing slave but we are as yet no better at explaining ourselves than we were in early history
- death - we use our phones for constant reminders - there are more important appointments to be reminded of - appointments with ourselves, our worries and not the anxieties that they create - brevity sadly is the key to appreciation - it is when we remember death that we understand properly the urgency of the time we have left
- there's almost no relationship in which the presence of the phone has not had a profound effect
- addiction
- monasticism - distraction - wall-off instantly alluring and most meaningless distractions offered by the wider world
- digital sabbath - engage directly with others, be relaxed, immersed in nature and present
- look things up inside yourself - give ideas time and attention - 'In the minds of geniuses we discover our own neglected thoughts' Ralph Waldo Emerson
- our phones and our relationships - malleability provides the perfect excuse for disengagement from the trickier aspects of other people
- dating - everyone is radically imperfect, compatibility is an achievement of love, it can't be its precondition - cannot help with the real challenge of love - extending sympathy and understanding to human frailty
- nature and the sublime - we are forgetting (as we update) what nature - quietly and with great and tender majesty - might really have been trying to say to us
- stimulation vs calm - our most urgent need is for calm - we react to stimuli even when we're exhausted - phones are endless carriers of claims to rouse us when what we really need is exactly the opposite
- shopping - purchasing ambitions are focused only at the lower level of our own pyramid of needs (reference image within article)
- beyond instagram - we need to make ourselves pay attention - our ease of which we can create an image works against our desire to properly notice anything - put down the phone and sketch
- appreciation - phones deliver the world directly to us yet often limit the things we actually pay attention to
- poetry - brevity to vacuity, serious ideas must be transmitted in long and challenging texts - this is an educated delusion - you can conjure the deepest, sweetest and saddest truths in a few words - brief media to say big important thing
- news - modern idea of news is falsely and unflattering - it imagines we need to know everything thats happened in the world - really important news is just everything that is crucial for us to take in order to understand our own world and our place in it
- FOMO - its not the notion of missing out thats the problem, its ideas of what we might be missing out on - phones unhelpfully skew this
- the dream of being liked - we might know plenty of people but others never quite know us as we wish to be known - loneliness is simply a price we have to pay for holding onto a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must and could be
- travel - while our phones can record and reveal to others the half-formed thoughts circulating our mind they cannot as yet bring our submerged reactions to the surface
- play - the unexpected intensity of fooling around with a normally staid and measured acquaintance - as we play, we forget to cheque our phones
- selfies - tempting to think we should take them less seriously - distance ourselves from it and see it in a mocking light - but the wiser move might be to get much more ambitious - self-reflection - not seeking the approval of others but seeking self-knowledge
- communication - technology annihilates physical but not psychological, distance - our words move infinitely faster than a carrier pigeon or a scroll bearing slave but we are as yet no better at explaining ourselves than we were in early history
- death - we use our phones for constant reminders - there are more important appointments to be reminded of - appointments with ourselves, our worries and not the anxieties that they create - brevity sadly is the key to appreciation - it is when we remember death that we understand properly the urgency of the time we have left
- utopia - still so far from technology that will really help us advance - capitalism has delivered on only our simplest of needs - primitive times - in the future our phones will be kind and not merely subservient - they will know how to edge us away from a stupid decision and how to summon up our better natures
The School Of Life - Videos
The School of Life is a global organisation dedicated to developing emotional intelligence using pyschology, philosophy, culture and everyday life. Via their Youtube channel, I've found some short animations relating to my COP project aswell as some short articles on their website. The videos are documented below whilst the articles will be documented in a seperate blog post in order for me to be able to refer back to them a little easier.
The Dangers of The Internet:
- addiction - checking phones ahead of interpersonal communication
- we know too much and understand too little
- privacy is under threat
- online crime is out of control
- unrivalled challenges on how to interact with our partners, keep our critical faculties alive, stop thinking that the answers always lie 'out there', remain emotionally connected to real life people, make discoveries that come when we are bored and letting our mind lie fallow
The Problem with our Phones:
- used to keep our own selves at bay
- incapable of sitting alone with our thoughts
- self-avoidance
- consult phones rather than ourselves
- we must spend time with our worries rather than the anxiety they create
- 'remember you are made of dust and will be dust again'
Why We Feel Lonely and Odd
- know ourselves from the inside, know others from what they chose to or are able to tell us - limited, edited - like how we present ourselves on social media
- knowing people through public pronouncments (idea of 'perfect lives')
- physiological asymmetry - think of ourselves as more peculiar and shameful than others
- our emotions and experiences are more intense, we know alot more about who we are
- results in loneliness and shyness, feeling inherintly different to everyone else
- easily intimidated by people we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities
- feel like imposters in positions of power
- solutions lie in art and love
- art allows for accurate portrayls of the inner lives of strangers
- love allows for occassional deeply precious sense of security - learn about yours and other vulnerabilities
- we must presume that everyone is closer to what we are, than they are to resemble the personas they show to the world
Mind Change: How Digital Technologies Are Leaving Their Mark On Our Brains - Susan Greenfield
Social Networking and Identity:
- hyper-connectivity (constant connection), spread of social media, increase in online personal information - key factors which will interact to influence identities
- online self and 'true self' are not necessarily the same - 'true self' notion introduced by Carl Rogers - one of the founding fathers of physchotherapy
- John Bargh - concept of 'true self on the internet' - individuals tendencys to refer express real aspects of the self through anonymous platforms rather than face-to-face communication - the internet provides individuals with a unique opportunity for self-expression that encourages people to reveal their true self, including the aspects which are not comfortably expressed face-to-face - cyber communication could be regarded as more intimate and personal
- Erving Goffman (sociologist) described how in general we are always alert to how others react to us, continuously adpating our outward demeanour to ensure the best possible image - editing, curating
- Social networking has now resulted in three possible selves: the true self, the real self, and the hoped-for/possible self displayed on social networking sites - deliberatley constructed, socially desirable self to which individuals aspire but have not yet been able achieve
- advertise yourself unchallenged by the constraints of the real world
- dangerous gap could grow between the idealised 'front stage' you and the real 'back stage' you, leading to a feeling of disconnection and isolation
- exaggerated obsession with the self - narcissits (link to turkle) - social networking can demonstrably increase narcissism levels - exhibitionism, entitlement, exploitativeness, superiority, authority, vanity - such behaviour is linked to low self-esteem
- 'perfect' lives - people long desperatley for others to notice and interact with them - encourages the hoped-for/possible self
- 'if you see other people also as commodities for enhancing your percieved significance still further, you will be incapable of having the kind of human relatiosnhio essential for well-being'
- envy caused by self-comparison - decreased life satisfaction
- Klout Scores - social media scores that could become an 'ingredient' in job interviews
- The fact that importance is measured through social networking, that it depends on how much attention you attract and that this attention can be rewarded, is unlikely to bring out the best in anyone. What kind of lesson are you learning about relationships and indeed how you see yourself?
- Quitting social media has been termed 'virtual identity suicide'
- 'Social media removes evolutionary precautions and presses the accelerator on unfettered self-disclosure in a context where the usual brakes applied by normal interpersonal feedback are absent'
- self is publicised to an audience of hundres and held up to endless scrutiny and coment
Social Networking and Relationships
- new technology has fundamentally changed the way that we communication - we're not required to talk to each other
- verbal communication over the phone or in person has become increasingly less popular
- the type of emotional support that can be provided by these forms of communication turns out to be very inferior
- conversations over the phone or in person shown to indicate a reduction in stress levels - in regard to providing emotional support, messaging appears comparable to not speaking with anyone at all
- instead of body language, tone of voice and physical contact, the dominant vehicle for expression is words - misinterpretation - no matter how much you discuss your emotions, statements can't live up to true facial expressions
- interpersonal interaction is not sufficiently rehearsed - lacking in social skills
- Digital Natives - struggle to communicate face-to-face, shifted the development of romantic relationships online, couples prefer to get to know each other through the safety of their smartphones - Using the internet to make friends is linked to lower levels of well-being
- Development of interpersonal communication skills and empathy - ability to empathise with others keeps maturing well into our twenties
- 'emotional intelligence' - the ability, capacity, skill or a self-percieved ability to identify, assess and manage the emotions of ones self, of others and of groups
- correlation between soaring popularity of social networking sites and the decline in empathy
- reduced ability to communicate effectivley, associated with a lack of emotional intelligence, including poor performance on interpreting facial expressions
- deficits in the early stage of face-perception processing, impairment linked to a range of disorders including physcopathy and autism - possible associations between technology use and the later development of autism
- difference between online and offline relationships is that in the former you only show what you want, often cataloguing what you like and dislike
- cannot successfully hide what you may truly be feeling in a face-to-face situation with a friend - lack of rehersal of social skills may foretell a decline in deep and meaningful relationships - trust grows from empathy - miss out on deeper intimacy with others
- too much social networking can cross the line into interpersonal dysfunction and damage, displace time spent on relationship maintenance, lead to increased opportunity to communicate with ex-partners or potential partners, leads to jealousy and tempation in current relationships
- high levels of facebook use were associated with negative reationship outcomes, leading to cheating, break-ups and divorce - increased paranoia and jealousy
- continuing offline contact with an ex-romantic partner may disrupt emotional recovery - social media disrupts the process of healing and moving on from past relationships - unhealthy perseveration - lower personal growth easily accesible and difficult to resist infomation
- snooping on individuals is not only allowed but expected - stalking has been coined as 'social surveillance' - ability to pry freely and anonymously into the lives of others is a serious issue
- such sites are having a significant impact on interpersonal communication and hence relationships - there will be wider percussions for society as a whole
- hyper-connectivity (constant connection), spread of social media, increase in online personal information - key factors which will interact to influence identities
- online self and 'true self' are not necessarily the same - 'true self' notion introduced by Carl Rogers - one of the founding fathers of physchotherapy
- John Bargh - concept of 'true self on the internet' - individuals tendencys to refer express real aspects of the self through anonymous platforms rather than face-to-face communication - the internet provides individuals with a unique opportunity for self-expression that encourages people to reveal their true self, including the aspects which are not comfortably expressed face-to-face - cyber communication could be regarded as more intimate and personal
- Erving Goffman (sociologist) described how in general we are always alert to how others react to us, continuously adpating our outward demeanour to ensure the best possible image - editing, curating
- Social networking has now resulted in three possible selves: the true self, the real self, and the hoped-for/possible self displayed on social networking sites - deliberatley constructed, socially desirable self to which individuals aspire but have not yet been able achieve
- advertise yourself unchallenged by the constraints of the real world
- dangerous gap could grow between the idealised 'front stage' you and the real 'back stage' you, leading to a feeling of disconnection and isolation
- exaggerated obsession with the self - narcissits (link to turkle) - social networking can demonstrably increase narcissism levels - exhibitionism, entitlement, exploitativeness, superiority, authority, vanity - such behaviour is linked to low self-esteem
- 'perfect' lives - people long desperatley for others to notice and interact with them - encourages the hoped-for/possible self
- 'if you see other people also as commodities for enhancing your percieved significance still further, you will be incapable of having the kind of human relatiosnhio essential for well-being'
- envy caused by self-comparison - decreased life satisfaction
- Klout Scores - social media scores that could become an 'ingredient' in job interviews
- The fact that importance is measured through social networking, that it depends on how much attention you attract and that this attention can be rewarded, is unlikely to bring out the best in anyone. What kind of lesson are you learning about relationships and indeed how you see yourself?
- Quitting social media has been termed 'virtual identity suicide'
- 'Social media removes evolutionary precautions and presses the accelerator on unfettered self-disclosure in a context where the usual brakes applied by normal interpersonal feedback are absent'
- self is publicised to an audience of hundres and held up to endless scrutiny and coment
Social Networking and Relationships
- new technology has fundamentally changed the way that we communication - we're not required to talk to each other
- verbal communication over the phone or in person has become increasingly less popular
- the type of emotional support that can be provided by these forms of communication turns out to be very inferior
- conversations over the phone or in person shown to indicate a reduction in stress levels - in regard to providing emotional support, messaging appears comparable to not speaking with anyone at all
- instead of body language, tone of voice and physical contact, the dominant vehicle for expression is words - misinterpretation - no matter how much you discuss your emotions, statements can't live up to true facial expressions
- interpersonal interaction is not sufficiently rehearsed - lacking in social skills
- Digital Natives - struggle to communicate face-to-face, shifted the development of romantic relationships online, couples prefer to get to know each other through the safety of their smartphones - Using the internet to make friends is linked to lower levels of well-being
- Development of interpersonal communication skills and empathy - ability to empathise with others keeps maturing well into our twenties
- 'emotional intelligence' - the ability, capacity, skill or a self-percieved ability to identify, assess and manage the emotions of ones self, of others and of groups
- correlation between soaring popularity of social networking sites and the decline in empathy
- reduced ability to communicate effectivley, associated with a lack of emotional intelligence, including poor performance on interpreting facial expressions
- deficits in the early stage of face-perception processing, impairment linked to a range of disorders including physcopathy and autism - possible associations between technology use and the later development of autism
- difference between online and offline relationships is that in the former you only show what you want, often cataloguing what you like and dislike
- cannot successfully hide what you may truly be feeling in a face-to-face situation with a friend - lack of rehersal of social skills may foretell a decline in deep and meaningful relationships - trust grows from empathy - miss out on deeper intimacy with others
- too much social networking can cross the line into interpersonal dysfunction and damage, displace time spent on relationship maintenance, lead to increased opportunity to communicate with ex-partners or potential partners, leads to jealousy and tempation in current relationships
- high levels of facebook use were associated with negative reationship outcomes, leading to cheating, break-ups and divorce - increased paranoia and jealousy
- continuing offline contact with an ex-romantic partner may disrupt emotional recovery - social media disrupts the process of healing and moving on from past relationships - unhealthy perseveration - lower personal growth easily accesible and difficult to resist infomation
- snooping on individuals is not only allowed but expected - stalking has been coined as 'social surveillance' - ability to pry freely and anonymously into the lives of others is a serious issue
- such sites are having a significant impact on interpersonal communication and hence relationships - there will be wider percussions for society as a whole
Wednesday, 25 October 2017
Keith Negley
Tricky subjects, soft colour palettes, varied textures, quiet melancholy, meditations on lonliness and suffering
- crucial to be fearless
- dont be afraid to be vulnerable to your audience
- our deepest darkest secrets make the best art
- if the thought of sharing work with an audience makes you feel uncomfortable, you're on the right track
- crucial to be fearless
- dont be afraid to be vulnerable to your audience
- our deepest darkest secrets make the best art
- if the thought of sharing work with an audience makes you feel uncomfortable, you're on the right track
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| Teen Suicide |
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| Philosophy of the Heart |
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| The Family That Preys Together |
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